Attack of the Giant Squid: Episode 3 (Finale)

RECAP: Nah - we've been through this. Recap starts on October 3rd's post, baby - you've got a lot of readin' to do. :-) Candy competitors - y'all are killin' me! (Though I suppose it's about my turn). Keep your undies from bundling; jury's out till Monday.

SPONTANEOUS SCENE 3:

The city has been plunged into chaos and surviving extras are seeking higher ground. V and Brandy have used hammocks to devise a ‘safety net’ tied securely to ‘I’ beams on the extended ceiling of a large sports dome. Others have duplicated the concept, and the gymnasium ceiling is a colorful patchwork of dangling humans, safely positioned (so they think) to spot protruding tentacles while still out of reach. (BRUCE: “Oh – this is gonna be good!”).

As Brandy attempts to teach the blank-faced V how to use the digital camera that V and Swirlingeddy have owned for over 10 years, V puts her eye up to the viewer lens and prepares to test the camera’s zoom function. The picture zooms out. The picture zooms in. The picture zooms out… to focus on a large, slimy, pink tentacle thrusting up through the gymnasium floor, easily picking a tentacle-full of humans in colored nets like a handful of ripe cherries off an orchard tree! Luckily, Brandy and V (both being of the MB Type, ‘J’) had devised their escape route days ago. They crept with great agility along a nearby ‘I’ beam, somersaulting down in graceful pirouettes to the gymnasium balcony. Brandy flipped open her trusty Swiss-Army knife, V pulled out her (already inflated) flotation device, and they quickly disappeared through the canvas roof, riding the device down cable roof-anchors for hundreds of feet, to the ground outside the dome. (Sadly, Lara Croft and her even more lovely and popular twin, Blogmomma of the Month, had just been ‘flying by the seat of their pants’ and weren’t so fortunate).






SPONTANEOUS SCENE 4:

V and Brandy swung across the street on a fulcrumed rope and landed, cat-like, on the 2nd story window-ledge of an abandoned house. V used her powerful worship-leader’s lungs to produce a high ‘E’ which immediately shattered the window (and Brandy’s eardrums). Brandy could still see though. After slipping (still cat-like) through the window, the two of them edged slowly across the room to face a locked door with a key pad. Having pre-planned their escape, Brandy and V knew that the only way to open the door was to contact Swirlingeddy on his fancy-pants Blackberry and have him text-message his latest insect paparazzi so they could download it to override the keypad lock (or whatever). V watched in blank-faced awe as Brandy did all of this by herself.

The door jolted open. And right in front of them stood a gargantuan jumbo squid, slime dripping from her upright tentacles! (In reality, it was Coffeegirl in a squid suit). Swirlingeddy had warned them all along of the facts of evolution, but how could anyone (except Al Gore) have predicted that higher levels of oxygen-borne toxins in the air (produced by you! YOU!) would accelerate the evolutionary process and result in earth-roving squid?!? Perpetually unshaken, Brandy calmly muttered, “Fine – how’s this for an authentic reaction, you sadistic camera-men!?” As she pulled Frito from the smallest pocket of her iPod case, the squid was overcome with cute-puppy endorphins just long enough for Brandy and V to slip past her down the hall and hurl themselves through two separate open windows that just happened to be side by side.

And the impact woke me up! That's it - I’m having Indian food every night from now on…