The Creepies List

Okay, so He didn't give us a spirit of fear. But we all have our 'gives-me-the-creepies' lists, right? In keeping with our annual American tradition of celebrating fear and sugar (J/K - I'm not a halloween hater), here are a few items from my list:

10. Spiders like this one walk the earth (here in WI), and I sometimes sleep in tents. (She was bigger than she looks here [~6 in.]; enough to trigger your fight or flight - (in my case, flight) - reflexes from 20 ft.).
9. Fast cars without mufflers.
8. Large plastic bags filled with (...who knows what?!) on the side of the highway.
7. Illegible gravestones.
6. Alone in a dark, empty church.
5. Clearly dreaming faces of people I've never met. Recognizing them later.
4. My dogs, on leash, barking vehemently into a pitch black night.
3. The 'Scrunt' in Shyamalan's "Lady In the Water".
2. Mirrors in the dark.
1. Googling my own name on the internet.

What's at the top of your 'creepies list'?

Did We Mention "Busy"??

Here she is again - our precious Eva. Here she is, just a week ago, fresh from bath-time, having so much fun with her pink mouth, she can barely keep her jammies on! In the full picture, (which we can't share), she's standing next to her friend, 'S' who also has his mouth wide open, so they must have been comparing teeth or something... :-)

She's a speedy multi-tasker who loves her toys and loves her friends. She's got her own world going on and a visitor says, stopped just quick to say 'hello' but then scooted on her way to continue more important activities. Could be premature, but I'm intuiting: "Busy" + those eyes + covered in pink stuff after bath time + another recent comment, "She's NOT shy" = a happy handful! And, apparently, she was having WAY too much fun with a bouncy ball while the visitor was there... If God trusts us to raise a busy little extravert, I'll eagerly trust Him for the spunk to do it! ;-)

Got all kinds of random questions answered too... Eva appears to be potty-trained, she does get some exposure to dogs at the nursery, all the kids are on a rice-veggie type of diet, the visitor says she's really just a 'peanut' size-wise - about 26 lbs. and just shy of 3 ft (we got current measurements). We also learned more about the rest of the adoption process, traveling, and confirmed the possibility of a November visit by a friend of ours... A GREAT meeting!

So this is it! We signed on the dotted line, folks... short of unforeseen issues overseas, Eva is our daughter, and we can dive into prep-mode now. For those of you praying for paperwork, God did a big shortcut there; our program coordinator brought our whole dossier with her tonight and we signed and she notarized all the forms. Presto - the whole thing will be done by Friday and can go out next week. Seems small, comparatively, but having this paperwork done is a huge encouragement to us and will allow us to move more whole-heartedly into prep stage... WHICH could possibly be shorter. BUT it could be longer too. We'll still hope for June and be happily surprised if it's sooner...

Updates will get more scarce again from here, but we'll keep you 'posted'. What color will Eva's room be? Not pink - I know that for sure; the rest will come. ;-)

My Haven

Yesterday, Ed and I and the boys did our last 'Perch Lake' afternoon of the season (it's a county park that closes Wednesday). One last swim-fest for the yellow fuzzy ones, and then a final farewell to all the trails until spring.

Perch Lake is my secret haven. For 4 years, it's been my Friday hide-away; my own little niche in the world, from where I can savor every last succulent drop of the passing seasons. It's the first place I dip my toes in the spring, supports my happy flotation device all summer, and colors my dreams come fall. I know all its secrets and it knows mine, and (unlike the sacred cookies), I find great joy in sharing it.

How sweet, for the first time this fall, to imagine that we could be pulling a little dark-eyed angel in a wagon on these trails next year. Felt like the colored leaves were clapping and laughing for us as they fell. Sometimes there's sweetness at the end of a season.

Sacred Cookies

Sugar cookies have been (and remain) a treasured tradition in my home of upbringing. The family recipe goes way back, before my grandma, possibly before her grandma... most likely descended from some genius Danish pastry-maker who has ultimately revolutionized the world of cookies. And my mother is a present-day master of this art.

Valentine's Day, Halloween and Christmas are the holidays that inspire these superior morsels. The cookies aren't easy to make so it's usually a group effort; I've tried by myself and they're never quite the same. The dough requires mixing, refrigerating, repetitive rolling, addition of flour or milk to maintain the right consistency... In the end, the cookies themselves have a sweet (but not too sweet) flavor, unrivaled by any other sugar cookie. They're light and flaky, but never crumbly. Soft but never chewy. Hold up to milk-dipping, but are never hard or crunchy. They literally melt in your mouth.

The element that puts them beyond "perfect" is the decorating. The frosting, (which is really more of a glaze), is simply butter, milk and powdered sugar. Generous (unmeasured) portions of these three ingredients mixed together to desired consistency (which is fluid enough to spread easily and make smiley faces - but never runny). Oh - and just a dash of vanilla. This frosting never gets hard or crusty, and seals in beautifully the taste of the cookie. Chocolate chips, M&Ms, candy corns and sprinkles add their sweet character to complete the masterpiece which is this cookie.

If you are one of the special few who receive Christmas tins of cookies from Ed and me each year... you do not get these cookies. We shamelessly hide them in the freezer and intentionally do not share. If you accidentally see them sitting out on our counter during a visit, make no mistake - they are not for you. If you ever do have the honor of experiencing such a cookie, you should consider yourself family.

Come to think of it, I do believe I will exercise my family privileges right now and have myself a yummy cookie...mmmmmm... What sacred cookies hide in YOUR freezer??

Brouhaha

"Brouhaha" is one of those silly words that makes me giggle like a 3 yr. old. We English speakers have to make up phrases like "ruffled feathers" or "stirred the pot" to fully communicate such a concept; the French just devote a whole (hilarious-sounding!) word to it. Also, it's one of those words that's super fun to use, OR misuse - whichever you happen to prefer:

1. Dolores ruffled some feathers at ladies' Bible study as she bravely displayed the skull and crossbones tattoo on her BROUHAHA.
2. Duncan showed no mercy to the stuffed doggie bed; a few bedraggled pieces of BROUHAHA were all that remained.
3. V created quite the BROUHAHA in her blogging community by posting a picture of her feverishly styled bangs at age 13.

The picture's coming; this is just to whet your appetite.

What's your favorite silly word?

Magic Moment

Spending this sunny morning with NoOtherName's kids (7, 5, 3, 10 mo.) reminded me of a time I had visited their home earlier this summer. I had come to hang with my dear friend late in the evening and, as she completed bedtime rituals upstairs, I waited downstairs, folding some clean laundry from a basket in the living room. Their 'Totty' is just two months older than Eva (who was still very much my secret at the time) and, as I folded some of her sweet little pants, shirts and jammies, I felt a stab of longing to know for sure that Eva would be our daughter - to hold her and be with her.

Being the drama queen that I am (even when no one's looking), I raised my lumped throat and moist eyes above me so as to show the Lord, "See - do you see me? This is painful... can you do something please?"

No sooner had the moment passed than NoOtherName came in holding little Cait (6 mo. at the time). Granted, there's something very, very special about Cait's highly-developed cuddling skills, but I've never had a 6 mo. old react to my presence like this... Without prompt, she smiled sweetly and put her hands directly out as if to request that I hold her. Once I took her, she proceeded to nuzzle her face into my neck and put her tiny hand on my face... We held this embrace for minutes. Nothing of earth could have touched me with more tenderness in that moment.

"Mmm... Lord, you are so good. Thank you for seeing me - even when I'm a drama queen. And thank you for answering."

Lunar Lure

I put substantial effort into avoiding situations where I might be required to leave my bed while the man in the moon is still roaming about. Thursdays are an exception though; my early day - and I was glad to have shared a path with Mr. Moon for a few minutes this early morning. He was stunning. Charlie Brown's Great Pumpkin himself, risen from the pumpkin patch and hovering victoriously over McCutcheon Rd. I actually modified my route to work this morning so I could gaze at him a few minutes longer.

I'm fascinated by the ancient links between humanity and our moon - all its symbols and cycles and patterns. Granted, its cycles are still intimately entwined with our calendars, tidal patterns, etc.. But people used to FEEL it; live their lives by it, know within their own bodies what stage the moon was at. Much of this 'knowing' has been lost, I think. Like a secret God whispered once but, through the ages, grew softer till it faded away. At least for me. My only conscious moon-link is: the longer it stays up in the morning, the greater the gravitational force my bed exerts on me. How's that for scientific?

By the way, in Africa it's a rabbit on the moon; not a guy. Serious. The moon is positioned a little differently, and the rabbit's ears are upright. My grandpa once showed me when I was there...

Eva, someday, together, we'll learn of the rabbit moon. Sweet dreams now, my baby:

"I see the moon and the moon sees me
The moon sees somebody I want to see
God bless the moon and God bless me
And God bless the somebody I want to see.




It seems to me that God above
Created you for me to love
He picked you out from all the rest
To be the one that I loved best.

I had a heart 'twas true and good
But now it's gone from me to you
Take care of it as I have done
Cause you have two and I have none."

Author: Traditional
("Grandparents Magazine")

Ode to Tallulah

Ed and I go through cars like a ground squirrel in a bucket of tulip bulbs. Together, we put over 50,000 miles on our vehicles each year, and because we're on the go so much, our cars need to be dependable. When they stop being dependable, they're gone. Period. End of story. Here's what I believe to be the comprehensive inventory of vehicles in our history:



1. '81 Chevy Caprice Classic Wagon - "Tallulah"
2. Gold VW Golf
3. White VW Golf
4. Red Ford Escort
5. Gray Oldsmobile Achieva
6. Tan Honda Accord
7. Green Saturn
8. Green Jeep Grand Cherokee
9. White Mazda Protege
10. Red Honda Pilot
11. Brown Mazda Tribute

And we've been married 11 years.

I had crushes on the Accord and the Pilot. But the only car I've ever truly loved is Tallulah... my first. I had a surge of affection for her on my way home from work tonight so thought I'd share her story.

I inherited Tallulah from my parents - and she had a V8 engine (heart) that could have powered a freight train. 0 to 60 in no time flat (I tested this often). She was so long, she could spit in righteous disdain at the mere mention of a bus. I passed my driver's test with flying colors on the first try despite knocking over a cone during parallel parking - and I had the fat mean tester guy!

Tallulah faithfully transported us (and enough college paraphernalia to overwhelm 5 buses) through 5 years of 11-hour round trips between home and Indiana. Never once did she break down on us - even after the mechanic told us to take her slow over railroad tracks. And she handled treacherous Wisconsin blizzards with the trepidity of a Sherman tank. Her cracked windshield and rusty rump were a tribute to her feisty perseverance. In short: they don't make'em like that anymore.

After our wedding, Ed and I began to have cars of our own and, alas, it was time to part with our faithful friend. My little brother, Jeremy, inherited the family jewel... and her heart was true to the very end. As legend has it, Jer was pulling out of a parking lot one day when Tallulah's front half turned - but her back half couldn't follow. And despite the powerful rev of her still-purring V8, it was time for Tallulah to be laid to rest. I like to think she's been reincarnated somehow, her loyal pistons still giving life to some happy, speedster machine.

How 'bout you all? Have you ever really, really ever loved... a car??

Boots 'n' Blogs

The closest I ever got to the military was my college combat boot stage. (Purchased from Fleet Farm. With my dad). I was militant about lots of things though: flannels (for), college curfews (against), peace signs (for), males (against).



One of the few people who knew me during those years, yet still - to this day - admits to having known me, is Rob Dannenberg. Rob worked with Ed and me at First Trust (now US Bank) a bunch of summers through high school and college, under the gracious reign of Jude (Ed's mom). And, in addition to keeping us all entertained with his witty sarcasm and insightful writing, he brought me to my very first Broadway production: The Phantom of the Opera. Then, as good friends are prone to do, put up with my listening to the soundtrack (and pretending I could sing opera along with it) OVER AND OVER each day at work. What a great guy!

Rob is in the U.S. Army now; he's currently stationed in Fayetteville, NC and, within the past year, has spent time in Afghanistan. I've enjoyed his authentic and down-to-earth email updates every few months, so recently insisted he start a blog. It's called 'Rubicon' (see link to the right).

Rob has chosen his blog title with intelligence, creativity and heart. The reference is loaded with military history, idiom imagery, and, of course, a touch of Phantom. I'll let you glean what you will from Wikipedia... ANYWAY... All this to say: now you know who Rob is if he leaves a comment on your blog. And, more importantly, now you can visit HIS blog and leave encouraging comments - which I sincerely hope you will. He's one of those rare individuals who has dared to make personal sacrifices in his life for the good of people he hasn't met and doesn't know. Let's get to know him and say thank you, k? Thank you, Rob!!

Note to Self

I used to trust my mind implicitly with tons of details about everything: appointments, phone numbers, errands, song lyrics; it all seemed to be waiting there for me at the tip of my brain whenever I needed it - you know, like Dex. Well, I'm only 33, but within the past couple years, I've noticed it doesn't work the same way it always used to. I'm still relatively organized, and still mostly on time for appointments... but that's only due to implementing multiple 'tools' to keep up with everything: lists, post-its, stars on the calendar, notes to myself, etc.

One of my favorite techniques (I use it at least 4 or 5 times a week now) is calling myself at work or home (whichever place I'll be when I need to remember) to remind myself not to forget something. I used this method at least twice just today, and these conversations with myself sound like, "Hey - it's yourself; remember to sign those adoption forms for Thursday," or "Hey - it's you again; don't forget to show up for your physical after work - k, bye." I always try to be as polite and encouraging as possible since I don't know what kind of day I'll be having when I get the message.

Planting Spring bulbs (daffodils, tulips, crocuses, hyacinths, etc.) is the same concept - just longer term. Each year, I anticipate that by the end of the long, gray winter, I will need a happy message: "Hey - it's yourself. Surprise! Happy Spring! Congratulations on making it through these cold, dreary months... now sit back and be encouraged by the miracle of these little baby shoots morphing into colorful, sweet-smelling beauty. You partnered with God on this - good job! And enjoy..."

The problem is... for the past 3 years, God has not upheld his end of the deal. I've planted A LOT of bulbs! I've had my mom (the master gardener) help, to ensure I get the depth right, lovingly laid chicken wire over them to keep the critters out, invested in bone meal to help motivate healthy bulb development... Admittedly, it's probably not God's fault at all; maybe it's just the fact that my garden is the first in Hudson to freeze, freezes 4 feet deep, and is the last to thaw. Or maybe it's the dang ground squirrels. Maybe my house is a freaking zone 2 in the middle of a perfectly normal zone 4 area. But they don't come up. Every year. They freeze. They rot. They poke their heads up but turn black. Sadly, Umbridge seizes the opportunity and the message turns to: "Hey - it's really sad you spent all that money on bulbs when it's obvious they refuse to bloom in your tundra garden. Hey - maybe this is some kind of metaphor. Maybe Spring is never really going to come. Maybe the buck stopped elsewhere with Grandma's greenthumb..."

Well... too bad. I've pulled out all the stops this year. I am Wile E. Coyote himself in pursuit of the elusive prize, whatever cliffs I end up falling off. Over 60 bulbs in the ground. Mom helped. Chicken wire. Bone meal. Mulch to come (once it freezes). I WILL have blooming bulbs this Spring. And, if not, well... I'll have Umbridge take a seat again and turn the message to: "Hey it's yourself - at least you got guts. Good for you for not giving up, girl - maybe next year."

And God - hey... I know it's kind of piddly, but I'd love to have bulbs come up this year. I know you can do anything - even foil the plots of ground squirrels and protect the bulbs from deep, scathing freezes. Can you help me out here? If you give me blooms this Spring, I promise to post pictures... Thanks, Amen!

Artist

If I could dip my pen-tip in your ink,
O God who writes the whispers of the trees,
And hears each silent simple thought I think
To journal it in sand beneath the seas.

If I could dip my brush into your paints
To color all the worlds in majesty,
To white the clouds and shade the storm in gray,
To dot night skies with bright so silvery.

If I could only sing one melody
Composed by You before the dawn of time,
To comprehend one word outside of "me",
To breathe Your soul in freedom as it climbs,

Would anything within me understand
The power of the Love that moves Your hand?

Rainbow's Edge

"What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing..." -C.S. Lewis-




Recently, on my way home from work, I encountered the most amazing rainbow I've ever seen. Like the one pictured here, it was a double rainbow; both spectrums brilliant with color. The sky took on different shades between each segment: outside, inside, and between the two spectrums.

As I drove eastward, it stretched fully across I94 - a giant archway entrance into Woodbury. I called Ed, who was also headed home on 94 and exclaimed, "Do you see it?! There's the most beautiful rainbow stretching over the highway!" He was just a couple miles ahead of me, but he was on the other side of the rainbow - and he couldn't see it.

Though the rainbow always appeared to be slightly east of me, I knew I was passing directly beneath it when the van next to me, and the Holiday Inn beyond it, were covered in rainbow shimmer. Even the wet pavement of the highway glistened in rainbow hues.

Then...? It was gone; I had passed through. And even though I could no longer see the rainbow, I was absolutely certain that it still existed and was visible to the hundreds of cars behind me headed east on 94.

Now, I don't care what MB type you are, there's some kind of metaphor in there for you. My metaphor was pretty literal: faith in God's promises. We believe them even when we don't see them because we've passed through them before and we're confident they exist. And - when it's been a long time since we've seen evidence of any fulfillment, it helps to be a part of a community of Christ-followers where people are in all different spots along the road; we can remind each other that the promises are still there. Still visible to some of God's people somewhere. Still a reality for all of us.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." -Hebrews 11:1-

If you're out there somewhere feeling disconnected, it might be hard to find the guts or the energy... but consider reaching out toward a circle of fellow travelers, k? You're not always positioned to see the rainbow yourself. This community thing is how we do it; we ALL need it - and you're welcome here. And for those of us in a circle, let's keep expanding it, k? Let it go out from here...

My Blob

My dear, sweet aunty (for whom blogs are a new concept) recently heard the exciting news about Eva. She sent a lovely and thoughtful card which she began with the following sentiments:




"Dear Ed & Vonda,

We just heard the good news. We are so happy for you. Just can't wait till we can see her - yes, I've seen her on your blob."

Lord have mercy - I'm only human! Had to share the belly laughs... Now quick! Someone come up with an alternate activity that we can justifiably name 'blobbing' so we don't all, instantaneously, turn into blobbers!!

Rainman

You know how nature abhors a vacuum? That's exactly how I feel about math. Nevertheless, sometimes my mind vomits up random lists of mathematical information - and has the audacity to suggest it might be helpful or interesting. Yesterday evening, pulling into the garage after work, was one such example:



1. The odometer read 33333.
2. The 3 numbers in yesterday's date (10/16/07) add up to 33.
3. I'm 33.
4. Eva will be 3 soon.
5. A difference of 30 years.
6. The 3 numbers in her b-day (11/25/07) add up to 43.
7. Her b-day is 3 months before her cousin's...
8. We'll celebrate 3 family birthdays in 3 days (bro and sis-in-law).
9. Once she's home, Mom and Dad will have 3 grandkids.
10. This will be 3 years from the time we began the adoption process...

My sick mind had one last laugh as I pulled in the garage tonight:

1. The odometer read 33399.
2. A difference of 66 miles.
3. Exact mileage to work? You guessed it: 33.

I kid you not. Sometimes I wonder at the formulas God must use to hold this whole show together...

P.S. And how many comments will I get on this blog post?? (Maybe 0.3). ;-)

Note To Duncan

Some tough love for yet another 'cute and busy' member of the Rankin household..






Dear Duncan (aka "Bunkie"):

It's been over a year now since we adopted you, and I think it's time to address some of the apparent misconceptions which have somehow perpetuated themselves to become long-term ruts in your small (yet surprisingly sly) little doggie brain. Let's have some clarity, shall we?

First off, you're not fooling anyone with the whole 'disappearing-stick-of-butter' trick. When I come home from work and the table cloth is mangled, drooping off the side, and the butter plate's spotless, I'm pretty much able to piece together the scene. Have some restraint, buddy, k? Inhaling whole sticks of butter multiple times a week can be bad for doggie cholesterol levels... And you got a little somethin' on your whisker there...

Next: headless, maggot-infested ground squirrels are gross. GROSS. It isn't cute or funny when you clamp one in your mouth and high-tail it across the yard with it. What - am I going to chase you down so I can chew on it instead? Yeah - that's exactly what I'm thinking, "Hey - no fair! Duncan gets to play with the maggoty squirrel and I don't!" It doesn't exactly result in minty fresh breath either, if you know what I mean; dude - let's lay off the roadkill.

Nix on the removing Guffman's collar with your teeth. It's bad for your relationship, bad for your canine teeth and, most importantly... it DOES NOT make you 'da man'. Dominance is an attitude, man - chill. And stop biting your brother.

Last but, by all means, NOT least... let's have ourselves a little lesson: it's called - "chew toy vs. shoe". They are not the same thing; I don't care how good they smell. And not just shoes either... rugs, door mats, towels, socks, underwear, books, wood scraps... Are you beaver or canine? Do we need a doggie shrink?? Bunkie, babe - compulsively REMOVING the stuffing from your doggie bed will not result in the feelings of well-being you so desire. Let's stuff the stuffing fixation, shall we?

One last thing? Try not to get any cuter, k? You're about the sweetest thing since sliced Guava Duff and your mama can't resist your chocolate puppy eyes. Whooszagoo'boy... oohdamamaluvsyou...

"Cute and Busy"

Got an email from our India Program Director Saturday. She's in India right now, and has had opportunity to spend some time with Eva! We're SO grateful she took time to touch base during her busy trip; here's what we learned:

1. Eva is described as: "cute and busy"! :-)
2. She's great, health-wise, but for an ear infection (she's on meds).
3. Eva was cared for by 'Sisters', (nuns), at her original nursery.
6. One photo from the previous nursery exists (and we will get it)!
7. We will receive more information (pictures, measurements) soon!

Every detail we can glean about our daughter's life is SO precious... For those praying with us, let's pray for the caretakers and their successful interaction with the original nursery - that she would favor Eva and be persistent on her behalf. The information collected right now - this week - will have long-term impact on our ability to help Eva piece together her story. Also - let's pray that God will heal that ear infection ASAP and keep Eva healthy.

"Cute and busy"... sounds like she's already starting to take after her momma... :-)

At The Well

John 4:27: "Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, "What do you want?" or "Why are you talking with her?"


They were thinking it... but they didn't say it. If we've been part of a Christian community of faith for any length of time, chances are we've heard about how it was counter-cultural for Jesus to be talking to this woman at all. For reasons of race as well as gender. His disciples were "surprised" because the situation was outside of cultural norms.

But, in addition, what is significant to me about Christ's conversation with this woman is the subject matter. He didn't stop at the fact that he was thirsty. He didn't discuss with her the weather or the logistics behind why he happened to be sitting by Jacob's well. The main topics of conversation noted are: (A) the existence of her need, including reference to her many relational disappointments and failures, and (B) the fulfillment of her need, culminating in profound revelation regarding the true nature of worship AND intimate revelation of Jesus' true identity. Specifically, His identity as the One she had personally been anticipating.

I love LOVE that Jesus did this. Not only did He refuse to be limited by the cultural norm of condescending to her (as a Samaritan and as a woman) by just 'keeping it simple' with the theology; but he dared to reach beyond the 'surface' of her ability to access well water, to acknowledge who she was and where she had been. He 'saw' her. He stepped through her wall.

And, for her, (and for her town!), that 'stepping through' was transformational.

We have social cultural norms today too. I love boundaries. Believe me. I've personally experienced their precious necessity - and have the utmost respect for any 'norms' attempting to establish and uphold appropriate patterns of interaction. We've all seen (and many of us have experienced) the pain and chaos of breached boundaries. As Christ-followers, we are well aware of the dangers of 'stepping through' with one another... And, obviously, if anyone was 'safe' in being able to do this purely and appropriately, it was Christ.

But sometimes I wonder whether there isn't just a bit of fearful Umbridge (see Post 1) in cultural norms that (intentionally or unintentionally) keep us from ministering to one another 'beyond the surface'. Or, perhaps, it's not the 'norms' themselves, but how we prioritize them, relative to how God desires to work in and through us for His glory. Do I worship the unspoken 'rules' of appropriate boundaries established within my given community of faith? Or do I acknowledge the precious value of their intent to protect, while still remaining open to His prompting to enter into others' lives at a level that could result in HIS 'stepping through' their walls in a transformational way?

I've seen this done well - with wisdom and purity. And my heart is filled with gratitude for the women AND men who have reached beyond the surface of my life at His prompting and, by His grace, have been used by Christ in producing increased freedom and transformation in my life - and glory for our Abba. It is because I've seen this done well that I long to see more of it - to witness and to be involved in this 'stepping through' in the lives of my brothers and sisters...

Terrilynn, I don't know you, but I sing with you this poem you've written and posted:

It's not enough for me to listen
ears are alone, without voice
the tune lies deadpan
notes fade in the mute

I will sing your praises in the public square
echo of the loon, lips like a lyre
whoever will strum my strings will hear
of my love for you,
will hear of your love for all
will hear will hear will hear
me sing.

-(terrilynn)-

Soup Day!

What an absolutely gorgeous day to take a drive to Amery and enjoy, not just one type of soup, but MULTIPLE soups with dear 'rellies' (translation: relatives) whom we haven't seen in way too long...

My great anticipation (and empty belly) has inspired the following haiku:

Soup: my fav'rite food.
Soup and bread: even better.
Today will be great!

What's your favorite soup? (Mine's Potato... Beef Barley... Italian Wedding... etc.) Tomorrow, a return to more hearty blog fare...

P.S. Squid droppings have been left at the following locations:

Kristi: Left of your front door.
Groovy: Delivered with a big squid hug!
Paul: En route.
Erin: MDJ Booth @ FCC - I'll send you a more detailed email (wouldn't want to tempt any Smarties thieves). ;-)

I Don't Wanna Clean...

"I don't want to work. I just want to bang on my blog all day... I don't wanna clean. I just want to bang on my blog all day..."

This is how it's been, folks - I confess. Eating only when absolutely necessary. Low on sleep. Dishes stacked up, dog hair dust bunnies chasin' me... it's bad. Very bad. Cell group's at our house tomorrow night, and I will skip a day of posting in pursuit of blogging balance (and sanitation restoration). Talk to you Saturday!

P.S. Paul and Groovy, now's your chance before I post anything else 'deep and wonderful'. Out with the candy preferences. Now, please - thank you! Kristi and Erin - Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and Smarties nearly en route... thanks for your patience! Swirlingeddy, I might give you some of Kristi's Reeses if you clean the toilet. ;-)

What Hasn't Changed

ED & V: LEFT, 1991 - RIGHT, 2007

A lot of things have changed in 16 years - but I've always known Ed will be an awesome father. Here are my top 10 reasons:

10. GREAT TASTE: He fell in love with me despite the (1991) glasses.
9. SERVANT HEART: He does food prep and cleans the bathroom.
8. CONFIDENCE: He can respectfully disagree with people.
7. GENEROSITY: He runs errands for friends when they're stressed.
6. HUGE BRAIN: He knows the difference between bugs and insects.
5. INTEGRITY: He censors movies for us - and he's always right.
4. PLAYFUL: He's already collecting great children's movies and CDs.
3. RESPONSIBLE: He's purchased and installed plastic outlet covers.
2. LOVES KIDS: He'll watch friends' kids - by himself when needed.
1. FAITH: He always knows it's going to be okay; he trusts God.

And, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Congratulations, Ed, with all my heart! There's nowhere else I'd rather be...

Contending In Prayer

First things first: a few posts back, I made a promise to deliver halloween candy in exchange for creative story titles, and I'm good for it! Paul and Groovy, I didn't get your orders... do tell! You all are winners for playing along and being silly with me! :-)

The question this post will answer is: "How did God take a grief situation and turn it into pure joy for His glory?" The short answer is, "By orchestrating a cluster of miracles." The (much) longer answer is below...

OUR EXPECTATION:
In order to understand our emotional state when this miracle occurred, you need a little background on where we had thought we'd be. Adoptive parents don't have the suspense of a pregnancy test or a first doctor visit. Instead, the 'magic moment' of sudden knowledge is... the phone call. The "referral" - where the social worker calls and, with great joy, announces there is now a child for consideration. Once you calm down enough to think clearly, you research and consider the referral (usually a 3 day to 2 week process). Then, if you're able to accept, you jump up and down and plan your sneaky surprise 'we're having a baby!' announcement to all your family and friends. This was not our referral.

OUR REALITY:
Through a different cluster of miracles, there was no phone call for us. God helped us find Eva on an online list of waiting children at 3:00 AM one night in the middle of June. Initially receiving her information was exciting! But there wasn't enough to go on... We consulted a specialist who confirmed we would need to get more information in order to move ahead wisely. AND besides all that, (as we discovered almost a month later)... she wasn't yet 'cleared' for adoption. Meaning - the government did not yet recognize her as able to be adopted. I won't go into the long and very gory details... but after a wait of almost 3+ months (having been told it would be 10 days at most), we were tired. Hopes of a 'sneaky surprise' were growing dim as friends and family saw that 'something was up' - and we were just trying to hold it together.

HIS ANSWER:
As Carol Madison spoke at LATTE (FCC's Women's Ministry) last Sunday night, it became clear to me that the type of prayer I had personally been doing the past 3 months, (ex: 'Lord, please help - but You're sovereign - so you're gonna do what you're gonna do') wasn't really 'contending' in prayer. Carol challenged us to push beyond a 'theology of resignation' and really persist - to contend for what it is we believe God wants to give us FOR HIS GLORY.

So after LATTE, that's what we did. Three precious sisters and I (NoOtherName, KJ and Chele) retreated to a side room to pray. This was the tricky part for me... These were three close friends who I knew would provide some of the most satisfying 'happy surprise' factor if I could just wait till the news was 'for sure'. And, for three months, I had been sneaking, half-lying, evading, and all other methods I could think of to resist telling them about Eva. But, that night, after just a few minutes - I knew I had to lay it down. I sobbed as I let go of my ideal surprise and explained that Ed and I had a daughter... and we absolutely needed to contend together in prayer for her clearance. Amidst prolific tears, snot and painful charlie-horses, we repented, and we contended for over an hour until the lights were out, the FCC doors locked, and we knew He had heard us; we had joy. Big joy!

So, it was home to a sound sleep... until 4:30 AM. My eyes shot open and it felt like the middle of the day. Insomnia is not the norm for me (I love sleep!), and I'll spare you the whiny questioning the Lord heard from me for over a half hour before He finally, almost audibly, compelled me to get out of my bed - otherwise, I would miss a blessing. Finally being somewhat certain I'd heard something about a blessing, I gave in and trudged up the stairs to the music room. Where I kneeled on the floor, there was a devotional called 'God Calling' (A.J. Russell) which has a paragraph for each day, but I only read a few times a month. The entries for October 6th and 7th (last weekend) were:

A CHILD'S HAND

"Yes, cling. Your faith shall be rewarded. Do you not know what it means to feel a little trusting hand in yours, to know a child's confidence? Does that not draw out your Love and desire to protect, to care? Think what My Heart feels, when in your helplessness you turn to Me, clinging, desiring My Love and Protection. Would you fail that child, faulty and weak as you are? Could I fail you? Just know it is not possible. Know all is well. You must not doubt. You must be sure. There is no miracle I cannot perform, nothing I cannot do. No eleventh hour rescue I cannot accomplish."

REJOICE AT WEAKNESS

"Yes! I know all. Every cry for mercy. Every sign of weariness. Every plea for help. Every sorry over failure. Every weakness. I am with you through all. My tender sympathy is yours. My strength is yours. Rejoice at your weakness, My children. My strength is made perfect in weakness. When you are weak then am I strong. Strong to help, to cure, to protect. Trust me, my children. I know ALL. I am beside you. Strong, strong, strong to save. Lean on My Love, and know that all is well."

Needless to say, I was completely humbled. I thanked the Lord for His tenderness, mercy, infinite patience with my laziness, and this amazing reminder of His promise - and passed His message on to my dear fellow contenders via email. I ended the email with, "Thank you, dear sisters, for praying tonight. For listening and contending. All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well. It is His goodness and sweet tenderness that makes this sure in my heart... I love you!"

I returned to bed and fell asleep immediately. And the first email I received in my Inbox the next morning...?

You guessed it. The exact words from our agency's India Program Director:

"She is cleared!! I will hand-carry her papers with me back to the US. I pick them up on the 12th. Happy day!"

Coincidence? No; Contending... and His absolute grace and tenderness and mercy. God's way was, for us, 100 times better and more joyful than our envisioned way. All glory and honor and praise to HIM. I wouldn't trade this story or our referral process for the world; what a precious reminder of His power and tenderness. Thank you, Lord!!

Ephesians 3:20: Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably MORE than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Cleaning the Garage

NOTE: This will be an unabashedly, unapologetically LONG post - but it's one you don't want to miss...

Ed and I (and those who know us REALLY well) have an 'inside joke' of sorts. The phrase is 'cleaning the garage', and it all goes back to a Saturday morning in the early 80's (I was 9 or 10)...

Having previously overheard my parents discussing the need to clean the garage, I secretly planned to wake up that morning, sneak out to the garage, and begin cleaning it. (I know - weird kid). However, as I tied my shoes, excitedly anticipating the joy of my sneaky surprise, my mom walked by and said, "Vonda, your dad and I would like your help with cleaning the garage today." Instantly, my sneaky surprise was deflated. What had been an anticipated joy seemed a chore to me now - it was a bummer!

We use that phrase pretty regularly now - if one of us adds to a Christmas list something the other had already bought as a special surprise. If one of us mentions the desire for fresh flowers on the table (that would be me) while the other had already secretly bought them and had them waiting out in the car...

All this to say... (and here it is!), if someone would have asked this morning, "So - any news on the adoption front?"... they would have been CLEANING THE GARAGE!! :-) Because it's here - it's time for the 'sneaky surprise'. With a flood of great joy and gratitude, we introduce to you our daughter:

EVA RANKIN

Isn't she absolutely beautiful?!? Words cannot express our joy in having the Lord confirm, just this morning, that we are now 'officially' the parents of this precious little girl...

In the language where Eva was born, her name means, 'Keen Talent' or 'Excellence'. She will turn 3 on November 25th, and, (per her child-study report), loves to dance and sing and draw. Though she is, in general, a calm and quiet child, she is social, enjoys playing with other kids - and emulates older children.

These things, in addition to some miraculous happenings regarding her health (we will share with some of you), are what we now know of our little girl. We are so excited to learn more... as we wait to bring her home, we will receive more information and pictures to help us celebrate and prepare.

So what's next...? Well, we have been told that this next chunk of waiting will seem easier if we think of it as a pregnancy. In 4 to 7 months, we hope to receive what is called 'NOC' (No Objection Certificate, or something to that effect) which means the guardianship and adoption is legal in the eyes of the Indian government. Once we receive this, it won't be long (a month or so) until we travel to pick her up. The agency has referred to this next waiting period as 'the black hole', meaning that, in general, once people know for sure who their child is, it can be much more difficult to wait - knowing this specific child will grow older and change with each passing day. With this in mind, we ask those of you who pray to contend in prayer with us in the following ways:

1. For God to embrace and pour His affection out on Eva.
2. For God to open Eva's heart and mind to the concept of parents.
3. For continued improvement in her health - physically, emotionally, developmentally.
4. That God would speed the process (and give us great joy) as we re-do most of our dossier (paperwork) for the second time.
5. Once the dossier is sent to India, that NOC and guardianship would happen in record time.
6. That God would provide for all the logistics surrounding preparation of our hearts, home, marriage, families, lives, finances, pets, and eventual travel.
7. Our referral process has been VERY unusual (and long) - please pray for renewed strength and energy as we head into 'the final stretch'.
8. That we'll remember, above all, who the Center is. Not us. Not Eva. That we will never lose sight of the fact that our Heavenly Father will remain our sure hope and solid foundation whatever follows in the coming months and years.

Thanks to all of you who have prayed and supported these past years - we are so grateful for all of you and consider this a 'group project'. We look forward to celebrating together in days ahead!

P.S. This unfolding story already contains multiple miracles; clear evidence of His leading and purpose. In tomorrow's post, I'll share the one He blessed us with last night/today...

P.P.S. Please leave your first thoughts of care and welcome for Eva as comments on this post; we will print them and use them in creating the favorite story we will someday read to her before bed-time each night... Eva's Happy Adoption Story.

God and Art

QUOTE FOR TODAY: "In the creative act we can experience the same freedom we know in dreams. This happens as I write a story. I am bound by neither time nor space... When we are writing, or painting, or composing, we are, during the time of creativity, freed from normal restriction, and are opened to a wider world, where colours are brighter, sounds clearer, and people more wondrously complex than we normally realize." -Madeleine l'Engle-


THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

Once, at a worship conference, Tom Kraeuter played some basic chords and invited us all to sing out freely, making up whatever melodies we wanted to sing to Jesus. He compared this to a child's homemade card; not polished - but crafted and submitted purely out of love for the One receiving it. Out of this exercise rose some of the most beautiful music I've ever heard; not in unison, but so united...

I love that. Like a homemade card. That's how I feel about writing (even if it's just about silly squid!) - and singing. What kind of activities set you free and make you lose track of time, like a little kid at play? Our Abba's all over that stuff, I think...

"It's Gonna Be Alright"...?

Brace yourself: quick jolt from squid to sermon - (welcome, dear reader, to the realm where I live most of life).

This weekend at FCC, we will introduce a new song: "Salvation Is Here" (Lincoln Brewster, I believe). Now, beyond the dents in the Mazda's center storage console - and potentially irreparable damage to the alignment (cause: blaring the song on car trips all week and suspecting that Michael Kupka himself would admire my mysteriously highly-developed percussion skills...), I've needed to process through some lyrics in order to help lead it this week.

The specific lyrics I've been chewing on are:

"And I don't care what the world throws at me now - It's gonna be alright...'Cause I know my God saved the day, and I know His Word never fails, and I know my God made a way for me... Salvation is here!"

Obviously, Umbridge (see Post 1 if you're lost here) has voiced strong objection to the line, "It's gonna be alright" because that message flies in the face of everything she's about. But I think there are some valid questions that go beyond her fear-based resistance. For me, those have been:

1. Can I honestly sing, "I don't care what the world throws at me"?
2. What exactly do I mean when I sing, "It's gonna be alright"?

"I DON'T CARE":

At first, this phrase seemed a little naive/callous to me. Many of us are in periods of long waiting and obscurity, or dealing with painful health issues, grieving loss of parent or spouse, tough stuff with kids, hurting marriages, etc. The list goes on. Isn't it a little 'cavalier' to take on such a flippant attitude about life circumstances? Doesn't the key to processing pain with authenticity lie in having courage to let ourselves care (not 'stuff' things), but still trusting at the same time? And most importantly... would God really want us to NOT care about trials we go through?

I still think the answers are: 'Yes, Yes, No.' But maybe the phrase isn't intended so much as, "I don't care at all", but is, instead, just a different way of saying, (like Paul): "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us... [and we're subjected to our present suffering] in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God." (Romans 8:18 & 21). Glorious freedom of the children of God: Salvation. I can sing that. Really loud too.

"IT'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT":

My concern here was that we'd be adopting some kind of shallow Bobby McFerrin 'Don't Worry; Be Happy' kind of philosophy. "Yay - we're Christians - no more problems for us!"... But again, I think this would be twisting the song's intent. When I sing, "It's gonna be alright' this weekend, what I WON'T be singing is: 'Yay God, 'cuz I know without a doubt that you're gonna rescue me out of this excruciating wait for a child in like two days and heal Sheri's dad miraculously (though He could and might) and fix everyone's marriages overnight and bring back those we've lost."

But what I WILL be singing (loudly) is: "... In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:37-39) AND "...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him..." (Romans 8:28).

That's been your 'deep thoughts' with V for the day - thanks for reading.

P.S. Coffeegirl is in the trenches with this Scripture right now, is battling with courage and hope, and is a shining example of this stuff in action (see her link to the right).

Attack of the Giant Squid: Episode 3 (Finale)

RECAP: Nah - we've been through this. Recap starts on October 3rd's post, baby - you've got a lot of readin' to do. :-) Candy competitors - y'all are killin' me! (Though I suppose it's about my turn). Keep your undies from bundling; jury's out till Monday.

SPONTANEOUS SCENE 3:

The city has been plunged into chaos and surviving extras are seeking higher ground. V and Brandy have used hammocks to devise a ‘safety net’ tied securely to ‘I’ beams on the extended ceiling of a large sports dome. Others have duplicated the concept, and the gymnasium ceiling is a colorful patchwork of dangling humans, safely positioned (so they think) to spot protruding tentacles while still out of reach. (BRUCE: “Oh – this is gonna be good!”).

As Brandy attempts to teach the blank-faced V how to use the digital camera that V and Swirlingeddy have owned for over 10 years, V puts her eye up to the viewer lens and prepares to test the camera’s zoom function. The picture zooms out. The picture zooms in. The picture zooms out… to focus on a large, slimy, pink tentacle thrusting up through the gymnasium floor, easily picking a tentacle-full of humans in colored nets like a handful of ripe cherries off an orchard tree! Luckily, Brandy and V (both being of the MB Type, ‘J’) had devised their escape route days ago. They crept with great agility along a nearby ‘I’ beam, somersaulting down in graceful pirouettes to the gymnasium balcony. Brandy flipped open her trusty Swiss-Army knife, V pulled out her (already inflated) flotation device, and they quickly disappeared through the canvas roof, riding the device down cable roof-anchors for hundreds of feet, to the ground outside the dome. (Sadly, Lara Croft and her even more lovely and popular twin, Blogmomma of the Month, had just been ‘flying by the seat of their pants’ and weren’t so fortunate).






SPONTANEOUS SCENE 4:

V and Brandy swung across the street on a fulcrumed rope and landed, cat-like, on the 2nd story window-ledge of an abandoned house. V used her powerful worship-leader’s lungs to produce a high ‘E’ which immediately shattered the window (and Brandy’s eardrums). Brandy could still see though. After slipping (still cat-like) through the window, the two of them edged slowly across the room to face a locked door with a key pad. Having pre-planned their escape, Brandy and V knew that the only way to open the door was to contact Swirlingeddy on his fancy-pants Blackberry and have him text-message his latest insect paparazzi so they could download it to override the keypad lock (or whatever). V watched in blank-faced awe as Brandy did all of this by herself.

The door jolted open. And right in front of them stood a gargantuan jumbo squid, slime dripping from her upright tentacles! (In reality, it was Coffeegirl in a squid suit). Swirlingeddy had warned them all along of the facts of evolution, but how could anyone (except Al Gore) have predicted that higher levels of oxygen-borne toxins in the air (produced by you! YOU!) would accelerate the evolutionary process and result in earth-roving squid?!? Perpetually unshaken, Brandy calmly muttered, “Fine – how’s this for an authentic reaction, you sadistic camera-men!?” As she pulled Frito from the smallest pocket of her iPod case, the squid was overcome with cute-puppy endorphins just long enough for Brandy and V to slip past her down the hall and hurl themselves through two separate open windows that just happened to be side by side.

And the impact woke me up! That's it - I’m having Indian food every night from now on…

Attack of the Giant Squid: Episode 2

RECAP: I'm not recapping anything. If you were too lazy to check yesterday's post, now's your chance to redeem yourself and get in on the fun. If you're still alive and you leave a comment, you might even make it into Episode 3... if you're (un)lucky.

P.S. See yesterday's comments for an exciting (and educational) update on Groovy. She's like Jonah with a cell phone!

SPONTANEOUS SCENE 2:

The city looks like a war-zone. Officials have done their best to keep order by meticulously placing yellow ‘CAUTION’ tape around the sites of whole buildings plunged into the sub-peninsula like massive sink-holes. But still, the squid are hungry, determined and, sadly, undeterred by the ‘CAUTION’ tape. There is an alarming shortage of hygiene facilities and Kristi, Erin and Swampy-Rah have trekked grueling miles (Erin being lured along by Halloween candy) to find an in-tact library with functional men’s and women’s restrooms. (BRUCE: “This will not be pretty.”).

The camera shot is split, centered on the wall between the men’s and women’s bathrooms. Kristi and Swampy joke loudly about global warming through the cement barrier of opposing stalls as, in the background, the spry and stunningly beautiful Erin stands at the mirror wiping a spot of chocolate from her lip - and watching her belly. A close-up of her abdomen shows baby’s (surprisingly long) arm sliding gracefully beneath the smooth rounded surface. (Begin suspenseful underlying motif).

Suddenly, the camera pans beneath the toilet stalls to show two powerful, slime-covered tentacles inching up the sewer drains, closer and closer to their unsuspecting victims. Kristi and Swampy scream with laughter in response to a mildly derisive yet hilarious comment Erin has made about the environmentally-conscious Al Gore… but alas, the screams abruptly change tone as the screen goes black.

The camera cuts to Erin, covered in Halloween candy and swinging from a gigantic pink tentacle, screaming, “Hey camera guy - are you getting this?!? Hey – up here! I’m really, authentically scared - see? (Grimacing in feigned terror…) Arrrgghhh!!!...”

-Be sure to return for the climactic 'Episode 3' on tomorrow's post... Survivors should prepare to be…scared squidless!-

P.P.S. Got a better title than 'Episode 2'? Let's hear'em! Winner gets 1 free bag of your choice of Halloween candy... serious!

Attack of the Giant Squid: Episode 1

Had one of those dreams the other night where you wish someone was inside your head with a video camera. Come to think of it… some of you were in the dream; where were your video cameras?!?

A bunch of us had agreed to be extras in a cheesy horror flick; we eagerly arrived on set as filming began. The premise of the film was: a school of gargantuan jumbo squid off the tip of Florida began to stray into underwater cavern systems due to some kind of (unexplained) global warming phenomenon. In their search for food, the vicious carnivores began crumbling sub-peninsular geostructure, exploding through the sandy, Floridian surface to claim random victims… us. (Picture the classic, ‘Tremors’, with squid; not worms).

Now, in lieu of planning scenes and creating a script, the young and enterprising Director (Snikpod) schemed to have us all run amok throughout the set, which was the size of a small city. The vision was to increase the feel of authenticity in the film by intermittently plunging extras through the floor of the set in a flurry of massive, waving (mechanical) tentacles – while simultaneously capturing our terrified outbursts and facial expressions on film. Critics applauded his genius, and the film was highly anticipated.

SPONTANEOUS SCENE 1:

‘Groovy’ and ‘NoOtherName’ sit face to face in a mall food court, enjoying lunch and weather-oriented conversation. Groovy mentions a circling internet rumor about giant squid living beneath the Floridian peninsula, and the two of them glee in mocking the ridiculous claim. (BRUCE: “They’re dead.”). Suddenly, the camera pans down to their chair-legs, now encircled with the slime-draped tips of massive pink tentacles which had somehow (silently) protruded from the tiled floor. NoOtherName notices the menace first and screams for help as another tentacle winds itself around Groovy’s foot. NoOtherName is miraculously pulled from her sinking chair by a Samaritan food court patron – just in the nick of time. But, alas, the shrieking Groovy is not as fortunate…

-Stay tuned for another dreamy episode on tomorrow's blog post! (You might turn out to be the second course in this not-so-bloody squid feast...)-

Smells Like Worms

It rained.
It rained.
The driveway flinched and squirmed
With worms which, later fried,
Were food for car tires
And my memories of the rain.

Mommy Skills

Ed and I recently spent the evening at the home of dear friends where I had the high honor of participating in the children's sacred bed-time rituals. The kids were dutifully completing hygiene protocol as I waited, cross-legged, on the floor of their bedroom - eagerly anticipating my narration role in the evening's book-reading ceremony. Suddenly, Abby (6 going on 24) appeared with loaded toothbrush in hand and declared, "Here, Vonda - I want you to brush my teeth tonight; this is a very important skill you'll need in order to be a mommy."

ME (after wetting my pants): Did this kid just say the word 'skill'?!?

ME AGAIN: Lord, your grace in filling our lives with children to love, before we're able to hold our own, is the measuring cup packed down and spilling over. Thank you SO much!

And thanks to KJ for 'mommying' 3 amazing kids - (at least one of which will be President as soon as she comes of age). And so graciously allowing me to try out these 'very important skills' on her 'chillins'... ;-)