T vs. F: How You Decide

People joke lightheartedly about Introvert and Extravert traits; they lovingly heckle one another about Perceiving vs. Judging. But Thinker vs. Feeler? That's another story; we tend to get VERY serious about T vs. F.

What do T and F stand for? My MB 'Expanded Interpretive Report' says the T/F dynamic is our way of making decisions. If you're a T, "you [tend to] make decisions using logical, objective analysis." If you're an F, "You [tend to] make decisions to create harmony by applying person-centered values."

So what's the rub? The issue is what T vs. F is NOT, but we tend to make it into: smart vs. emotional; insensitive vs. cowardly; brain vs. heart. The reason it's so hard to discuss T vs. F is that both decision paths have highly valuable components; if your understanding of this dynamic is brain vs. heart, being 'pegged' as one or the other means you're either heartless or stupid. No one wants to be stuck in either camp.

On the other side of that, Ts who think Fs are stupid and emotional are in danger of being prideful of their own intelligence. Fs who think Ts are heartless and rigid are in great danger of looking down long, supposed 'diplomatic' noses at their T friends.

So... let's get past that right up front. Ts have hearts - often very kind and sensitive ones. Fs have brains - often brilliant and ingenious ones. Everyone's in the middle. Plus, it's your decision path; not your identity. We're humans; all of us were created with brains AND hearts.

That said, let's look at the differences. It's not a matter of existence but of priority: a T doesn't lack feelings, but puts emphasis on facts and logic. An F doesn't lack the ability to process facts, but puts emphasis on personal issues. Problems occur as each likes to claim their methods AND conclusions as TRUTH, not fully grasping that Truth goes beyond fact or feeling. It goes beyond my being factually 'right' intellectually or academically; beyond my 'feeling' right emotionally or spiritually.

Some of you have red flags up. Don't worry; I'm not a relativist. (Not even a post-modernist, really). I absolutely believe in absolute Truth. I just don't think Truth can or should be defined or doggedly claimed SOLELY by preferential decision-making, methods, or interpretive conclusions. We still see through a glass darkly. Do I believe we can 'know' some important things for sure? Absolutely - I'm no agnostic. Do I believe we can know all things completely? No - we don't YET fully know as we are fully known. I believe we know what we CAN know, and continue to learn - and that there's great value in doing so. I believe that humility is called for, from all sides.

Down from the soapbox I come. I try not to ascend them often - thanks for humoring me. For those who think it would be ideal to be right in dead center of the T and F spectrum... think again. That's me (with slight 'F' preference), and I'm able to wax over-sensitive WHILE offending people - simultaneously; great super-power yes? :-) J/K - there are great benefits too. One last word - a tool to help us think more positively of one another's strengths (adapted from Myers, 1962):

T SUPER POWERS:

-Analyzing the situation
-Finding flaws in advance
-Holding consistently to a principle
-Weighing "the law and the evidence"
-Standing firm against opposition

F SUPER POWERS:

-Empathizing with people
-Concern for how others will feel
-Allowing for extenuating circumstances
-Knowing what is really important
-Appreciating each person's contributions