At the Wall

"In Your presence, all our fears are washed away, washed away"... my favorite part of a song that gave me great joy to lead this morning. We've done 'the creepies list' already - but 'creepies' are different than true fears, right? True fears are the things that produce adrenaline and raise pulses; the things that fill us with dread and loathing when we face them - but we usually find ways to avoid them if at all possible. They can make us sick (in multiple ways) if we let them - and some of us have abandoned dreams because of them. Don't worry, I won't be posting any 'fear lists'. (There's an important difference between walls and good boundaries). But I think it's worth mentioning that such lists exist for me - and, likely, for most of us.

Author and psychotherapist Thom Rutledge compares fear to a wall that we can choose to walk toward, or to avoid. His is the most effective metaphor I've experienced in addressing fear; I'd like to share it with you. Before you read, take just a second to think: what's your wall? What's the thing you just "can't" do - and absolutely won't do for that reason? What's the thing that holds you back?

"Imagine yourself standing in front of a big brick wall. Just you and the wall. How close do you stand? And what do you feel when you are facing the wall?

How wide is your wall? And how high? Can you see where the wall ends? Where it begins? Can you reach the top? How old is the wall - or how new? Who built it? And why? How long have you been here? Are you alone? How long do you plan to stay?

It's your wall, you know. Touch it. Feel its texture. Feel whatever you feel.

What is on the other side of the wall? Can you guess? Do you know? Have you ever been there? Do you want to go there now?

What if you are not alone? What if there is more here than just you and the wall? What if [others stand] with you?

What if you are wrong about the strength of the wall? What if you are wrong about your own potential? You've been wrong before, haven't you?

Your wall is made of bricks - individual bricks. The wall is big. the bricks are small. The mortar is of your own making. How strong is it?

What if you destroy your wall? What if you destroy your wall, and then regret it? What if you miss it? What if you can't handle it on the other side of the wall? What if it's too late to turn back now?

Now put your hand on your wall. Touch it, palm flat on the wall. What happens? Push. What happens? Both hands. What happens?

Will you step through? Do you dare? Can you keep yourself from it? Can you let yourself stumble, and laugh when you fall through to the other side of...? What's left of the wall?

What is it like on this side of the wall? The sky, the ground, the air around you - what is it like? What do you see? What do you hear? And what do you feel?

And what's that in the distance?"

- Thom Rutledge, 'Embracing Fear, and Finding the Courage to Live Your Life'-

Throughout the world, people worship a god of Indian origin: Ganesh. He is the 'elephant god'; remover of obstacles. I LOVE the idea of a God who is the remover of obstacles. And, I believe that, for those who worship the true God: Yahweh, Jehovah... THIS IS OUR GOD. He does this. I've seen Him. Sometimes with a wrecking ball; sometimes brick by brick. I believe He involves us in the process; we need to be willing. We need to go toward the wall. But the plan, the strength - is His.

As for my wall? There has been no wrecking ball involved - it's been 17 years of 'baby steps'. But this photo (Adam Clutterbuck) is what is left of it after some ground-shifting this past summer. I can see the other side now. SO thankful. With this post, I have said a prayer for each reader - that He will do the same (and more!) with your wall as well. You are not alone as you face your wall. Thanks for reading!