The Other Dog

Sunday: technically, my first Mother's Day. A good and happy day - a celebration of hopes realized, but the fullness of joy still yet to come. Not much different, I suppose, than any pregnant to-be mom on Mother's Day... only my child is in the world, and active - eating, playing, sleeping...




My husband, who regularly loves me in ways I cannot deserve, out-did himself this year. He collaborated with his father (a gifted illustrator) to write me a children's book. Well... actually, I guess, Guffman and Duncan adapted it from a book Madeleine l'Engle already wrote. Now that I'm done sobbing, I'd like to share it with you:

THE OTHER DOG

First of all, you should know that we are the authors of this book. We put our heads together - figuratively and literally - and the creative juices flowed (at least that's what we assumed they were).


Believe you us: without us authors, a book would never get written. And you can't chew on a book that hasn't been written! So, we - W.F. Guffman and Duncan Rankin - wrote this book, with the assistance of that inferior canine, Eva.

This summer, our mommy went away for A HUNDRED YEARS.

Or a few hours. It's hard to tell.

And when she came back, she brought with her...

another dog.



















If you ask us, this was a great waste of money. Dogs are expensive to feed, clean up after, and repair. We don't know how Mommy can afford to lose any more shoes.













We have mad skills.

We can play endless hours of any game Mommy can think of (as long as it involves fetching a ball). We can snatch flying balls right out of the air!

We are very talented.



















And until this other dog was brought into our home (without warning), our master and mistress seemed perfectly happy with us.


















As pets, we regard ourselves as professionals. We are positive that no other dog could have honed the skill of cuddling to the caliber that we have.

So why another dog?













We swim like the graceful sirens of marine lore. Our master and mistress love to look at us.

So why another dog?












We afford our master endless pleasure in his off-hours when he bathes us and plays with our ears and squirts strange substances in them. We sit still while he pokes and prods and sprays and massages.

No other dog would be so good and patient.

We are tremendously useful in defending the home. We always announce to our master and mistress the slightest movement on the street in front of our house. No one could be more efficient, conscientious, or loud about this than we are.

Our master and mistress have no idea the number of jogger and deer related attacks they have been spared due to our diligent surveillance.

So why another dog?

But what's done is done. The other dog was brought home, and we had to learn to make the best of it.



















Nevertheless, from the start we noticed a great many mysterious and horrifying things. For instance, when we are taken out to get some fresh air, we always have to walk - even when it rains.

The Eva is taken out in some kind of cart, and when it rains she doesn't get to go out at all.

And another thing.

During leisure time, we are content to lounge at our mistress' feet or some other canine-appropriate locale on the floor.

Eva openly climbs on all the furniture and lays about with impunity!

At least one thing remained clear. Of all the dogs, we are the most important.

You see, each afternoon we all go outside, this dog called Eva and us. However, only two balls are thrown by the ball thrower. When pitted against our keen radar and freight train engines, she is no match for us at fetch. She does not get a ball from the ball thrower.

Well if that doesn't show you who's who around here, we don't know what would.

And another thing. This Eva-dog gets fed whenever she wants.

We only get fed twice a day.

Of course, there may be a reason for this.


You see, we have frequently been told that our tails are like mighty alligators and our tongues are like proud flags aloft.











Eva-thing hasn't any tail at all and only a little tiny tongue! Perhaps they think that if they feed her and feed her, she may grow into a majestic flag-waving alligator like us.














And, by the way, our Eva - as well as having no tail - has practically no hair. Certainly not enough to brush. So, when people come to call, we have to put clothes on her. All we need is a good hair-brushing.


















The Eva-dog is growing bigger and bigger every day, and more and more rambunctious. She clearly needs to be protected and kept company.

Since we know the ropes around here, we better stay close by her side in order to maximize fun and safety.














We have become more use there than as the life of the party. It may be useful, but it's not nearly as much fun. But since we have Eva-dog, someone has to take care of her, and we will do our part.

















We must admit, though, that in our few conversations she's been most interested in everything we've had to say. Which is, we think, a definitely encouraging sign of intelligence.

She also sometimes tastes good and has good snacks.

We must admit that in spite of ourselves, we are becoming very fond of our other dog.

So somehow or other, we have come to the

unpredictable
surprising
amazing
astonishing
admonishing
astounding
confounding
tantalizing

conclusion...

In every home there should be at least three dogs!



















Welcome, Eva - and lots of love.

-Guffman and Duncan-