Take a Seat, Umbridge

Author and psychotherapist Thom Rutledge supports our ditching the "myth of singularity": "the belief that we're supposed to have only one opinion and one feeling at a time." The reality, he says, (and I mostly agree), is that we all have committees in our heads - and, throughout life, each of us must walk to the head of the long, rectangular board room table of our minds and successfully provide firm leadership and direction. Understanding the personalities and motives of each committee member is key in this process...

So folks, I give to you... the Committee In My Head. There are a number of interesting characters in mine - a few of them are even minors. But the 'majority leaders', the adult figures that filter most of the ongoing discussion, are Umbridge (the Bully) and Bruce (the Ally).

DOLORES UMBRIDGE:

I give full credit to J.K. Rowling and Imelda Staunton for creating the perfect epitome of (and name for) my Bully. Umbridge loves to have the first and last word; for her, those words are usually "when", "what if", "yeah but", and "you shouldn't". She claims to have good, protective intentions toward me, but her methods are often cruel, manipulative and fear-based.

BRUCE:

For the embodiment of my Ally, I credit Bruce himself for his acting talent and iconic Hollywood persona. Bruce is not fearless, but only raises valid fears for my consideration. His calm, weathered confidence inspires a sense of safety in any circumstance. He's been there, done that - and he knows I can be there and do that too.

That being said, here's a glimpse of the debate that ensued as I snooped around others' blogs trying to determine whether to start my own:

ME: Hm... this looks kind of fun; I'm thinking about starting a blog.

UMBRIDGE: (Snicker), Now there's an original idea...know anyone who's started a blog lately? Thought you and I had an agreement about jumping aboard crowded bandwagons. Let's take the road a little less trampled, shall we?

BRUCE: I say go for it if you want to; it's a great way to connect with people and it's consistent with your goal to write more.

UMBRIDGE: Yeah, but that's the thing... with your so-called writing... when have you ever EVER written anything that you didn't look back at a year later (sometimes less) and swear to remember to burn it before you die?? I'm just trying to save you some embarrassment here.

BRUCE: Growth and change is part of the fun, isn't it? If we all waited till we've achieved perfect wisdom to start doing what we like, we'd all be, well... kind of like you, Umbridge. Take the risk, V; I like the way you write.

UMBRIDGE: Fine - listen to him if you want, but I still think you're going to have multiple offers for a free psychiatric consultation the second you post anything for public viewing.

BRUCE: I guess that's a possibility... but we all get a little crazy once in awhile. Once, I drove this huge semi up a crumbling highway ramp with a stealth bomber right on my tai...

UMBRIDGE: Oh please, Bruce - if she can even get a photo of herself on her 'About Me' link, then we'll talk about exactly who is and who isn't cra...

ME: Okay - thanks for your input, guys. Bruce, thanks for the encouragement. Take a seat, Umbridge; I'm gonna start a blog today.

P.S. Any of you experts know how to get a picture on the 'About Me' link? :-)